What a difference a month makes! Peyton turned 5 months old over the weekend. I never thought I would be the type of person who documents every single milestone, but I am! It’s amazing what 31 days can do. Peyton is nearly 3 pounds bigger than when she left the hospital, weighing in at around 8 pounds! You can really see the change from 4 months to now. She is actually filling out that newborn onesie. And check out her chunky thighs…I’ve been waiting for months for little rolls!
For the last few weeks, I’ve watched many of my friends share what they are thankful for as we approach Thanksgiving. (If you are on Facebook, you know what I’m talking about!). It got me thinking about my life and what I’m thankful for. I get a lot of emails and comments from people wondering how I am so strong and positive, given the tragic situation I’ve been dealt. It’s not easy. These last few weeks have been particularly difficult. As my therapist reminds me, I’ve put my grief on hold. I’ve been so busy adjusting to life at home with Peyton, that I forget about the need to cry and grieve. It all caught up to me last week. I walked into the nursery and broke down in tears. It was a “why me?” moment. Why don’t I have three healthy babies? While other babies Peyton’s age are laughing and starting to eat food, I have a child who requires me to wheel around oxygen and set an alarm at night to make sure she is getting enough milk to grow. And even though it’s been five months since I gave birth, there still are no words that can make me feel better. I wish there was a book on what not to say to a grieving parent. Telling me that I at least have one child is the absolute worst thing I could hear. Telling me to concentrate on my one survivor, is a close second. I know people mean well and I couldn’t imagine any “right” thing to say if the tables were turned. But to me, all I hear with those comments is that I should forget about Parker and Abby. Even though they were here for only a short time, it doesn’t make them any less important. I may not talk about them as much as Peyton, but I think about them constantly…and I miss them so very much.
After the experience I have endured, how could I be thankful for so much? Well, Mr. Skry and I look at life as a glass half full. Sure I have those “why me?” moments, and I’ll continue to for a long time, but we have chosen not to dwell on the agony and pain we’ve gone through. We do have SO much to be thankful for this year. Number one–Peyton. When I think back to the day the triplets were born, it’s hard to ever imagine us being here on Thanksgiving, with our princess by our side. For a girl who should not have survived that first night, she is proving to the world how strong and brave she is. She continues to jump over every hurdle that comes her way, with grace and whole a lot of spunk! And while I will always be heartbroken over Parker and Abby, I’m so thankful for the time I had with them (and for my family who got to meet them). Abigail came out a fighter, kicking and squeaking. I will always admire her strength and remember her for saving the lives of her brother and sister. I’m thankful for the two months I had with Parker, that will easily last a lifetime. I’m thankful for every moment we shared with him, from holding him to changing his diapers. And I can’t forget myself. I’m so thankful for my health and being able to bounce back. Ryan almost lost three children and a wife on June 23rd. I’m so lucky that my brush with death was short lived. Only a few months later and I feel like my old self. That leads me to Mr. Skry. I’m thankful for an amazing husband. This experience can destroy a marriage, but instead, it has strengthened ours. Ryan has shown strength when I needed it most. He is the perfect father and every moment I see with him and Peyton melts my heart.
Finally, I’m thankful for the opportunities that have come out of our not-so-perfect experience. Most recently, being part of the Children’s Miracle Network family. For years, I’ve been on the other side of the spectrum. I’ve hosted the MDA telethon and done stories on families facing various challenges in life. Never did I think that I would one day become one of those families. Through our experience. I’m meeting some very special people. I am getting to know other families who have overcome so many obstacles. They give me so much hope for the future. I can’t wait to look back a year from now and see all that I will be thankful for. Things are only look up for the Skrysak family!
One quick note–Did you see the “Monday Morning Cuteness”? I post a picture every week on my Facebook Page. Yesterday was a precious picture of WAND’s Newest Viewer. Our promotions department sent Peyton the onesie. It’s the smallest size, yet it looks like a nightgown! She will be able to wear it for several months. It was quite the ordeal trying to get the picture. I thought you would enjoy these outtakes!! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday. I’m so thankful my family was here recently to help out with Peyton. They are back in California, so we’ll be having a “Friendsgiving” in Springfield.